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I was in the 10th grade when I finally came to the conclusion that I was transgender. It was the scariest time of my life. I wondered whether my friends were going to be OK with me. We had never really talked about the subject. I had been dressing for about 3 years, and no one knew. I did it when I was alone. My mom isn’t home much. I told my friend Kristen that I was bi and she was totally cool about it. The next thing I told her came as sort of a shock. She was quiet over the phone and didn't say much after that.
The next day at school, I told her I wanted to talk to her at lunch. We did. I said to her that I wanted her to know everything. I thought that would make me feel better. She agreed. The next day at school everything was different. You could tell she like didn't want to be around me. We didn't talk for about three months. I tried to pretend that it didn't matter to me, that I still had my other friends to talk to. I wished I was dead and started doing crazy things like using and drinking. I’d go to clubs all the time. One night I accidentally drank too much and had to have my stomach pumped. That’s when I got a shrink. She told me about Kaleidoscope. I never knew there were other people like me. I started going there and I’ve been feeling better about life.
A couple weeks ago Kristen came up to me at lunch. I almost threw up. I was afraid of what she’d say. I turned and looked at her and started crying. She hugged me and said she needed time. She said she wasn't like that but she was still my best friend. She had suspected it through my obsession with RuPaul. It turns out that she had asked for information from Kaleidoscope and did a lot of reading. She understands me better now, and goes with me to the Center sometimes.
I'm trying to decide about coming out to my mom and my dad. They're divorced since my 6th grade year so I’m closer to my mom. My counselor thinks I might need to wait a while. My parents have strong beliefs about certain stuff. I’m happy everyone at Kaleidoscope is there for me. —Cory, 17
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